• Dwan L. Hearn

Confused

You know, not everyday can be a good day.


I, like many people, have a reputation. Midst over things, I have a reputation for being right. I could try to be humble about this, but... that's not an easy task. This is NOT the same as being perfect. I'm SO FAR from perfect that it's amazing that I'm right as often as I am - but I am.


The primary method for being correct as much as I am is simple and honestly can be repeated by everyone. The not-so-secret method is: I don't speak on issues I know nothing about. I think things through before I speak. I don't enter a intellectual space unless I'm gathering information or I know what I'm talking about.


This way of thinking helps me and also, helps those around me. I'm very observant. I try my damnedest to notice details (but I failed the Selective Attention Test. It too is the damnedest thing. Also, a dope book explaining the science behind it. Look it up... well, finish this first, thing go look it up) and pay attention to the world around me. It's part of the "Moon" moniker. I listen to the situation. I process the information and I compare the situation to similar ones and note the differences and similarities. This helps me assess a situation better in the future.


[ https://youtu.be/vJG698U2Mvo ] This is the Selective Attention Test.


"Okay, Moon. What's your point?"


Wow, Me! That's rude...


Okay, my point is that when I see the people I care about in situations that I know are bad for them, it bothers me.


"Okay, so speak up! Be their friend!"


What is happening?!


Anyway, naturally I speak up. Worse part is that usually, before I speak up, they come to me for advice or insight or to inform me of the issue in the first place and I give my insight, as requested. Bad thing is, I'm then usually ignored until the problem happens again or gets worse at which point I'm told that they should have listened to me or that I was right or how foolish they were to think blah blah blah...


While my ego loves to hear I was right and as much as I love to say "I told you so" (because I REALLY enjoy saying I told you so), I get no pleasure or satisfaction from watching the people I love and care for hurt, be hurt, or suffer in any way, shape, or form. I'm perfectly fine with taking my L if it turns out that I was wrong. I can accept that and, let's be honest, I need the humbling.


With all this said, I'm stuck with wondering why I seem to care about their happiness and, in some cases, personal safety, more than they do. I watch them go back to abusers and wonder why things don't change, or stay in toxic situations and wonder why their mood never changes.


I know change is hard. I deal with that too. I know life can be lonely sometimes. I know the familiar is comfortable. But life is a matter of balance. I know, you've heard that before, but it's not like balance with a scale. It's more like a wave in motion. You're going to have good days and bad days. Happy times and sad times. You're going to have times to celebrate and times to mourn. It's a back and forth and there really isn't anything you can do to avoid this.


Recently, I thought about this and I came to the conclusion that Life is a balance. The Good has to balance with the Bad, but the Bad is heavier so you'll need more of the Good to achieve Balance.


I love my friends and I want them all to be happy. Watching them choose paths that I'm certain will lead them to pain weighs on my heart; on my soul. Every status update, every photograph, every text message - it all drags me down little bit by little bit. To see people I love choose pain that is being re-marketed as Salvation is soul crushing. There are several of these friends and I'm saddened by your choices, but they are indeed your choices to make. Just know that I'm here and I love you and I'm pulling for your success. Prove me wrong, please.


That wasn't the only disheartening thing from yesterday. My faith in humanity is faltering. The idea, the very notion, that Life Matters is going extinct.


Yesterday, a friend of mine, via social media post, brought attention to a news story in Florida. A man, 80+ years old, had worked for this company for 30+ years. One day he comes to work and is let go. The man asked to be kept on for one more years so he could get his money in order to which the Company, more specifically the manager, said no. With this, the man pulls a gun from his pocket and shoots the manager repeatedly, killing him.


[ https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/florida-sugar-mill-worker-86-fatally-shoots-boss-after-hes-fired-sheriff-says/ar-AAKK3c3?ocid=uxbndlbing ] This is an article about the situation, for reference.


It was upsetting... no, it was down right disturbing to see how many people were willing to condone the murder of a man by another because the man was fired.


Now there is room to discuss why an 80 year old man was still working, but this wasn't the point here. The point here is that one man killed another, not in a self-defense situation, and people were celebrating the murderer.


It was clear that my position was going to be unpopular and I knew I was, as they say, "Asking for the Smoke", and I knew that if I spoke up, I was basically asking to be harassed. I almost didn't.


And then I did.


Look, in the grand scheme of it all, it's important that someone remind others that life is important and we should not take life lightly nor do we have to right to steal life from others. I was mocked (which was petty and I easily ignored), but then people tried to argue with me about how the manager deserved it.


"How can you argue that the murderer was right?"


You're still here... okay,


Okay, well, most people were saying, "When you take away a man's everything, he has nothing to lose." or "This could be much like when a wife is suffering from Battered Spouse Syndrome" or "The manager basically give the man a death sentence, leaving him to live in poverty"


Now, I started this post discussing that I'm typically correct. And I am. These people didn't realize I was going to hit back with actual facts. One lady even tried to tell me the man didn't count as a murderer... so I pulled out my dictionary and used the literal definition of murder to prove that he was indeed a murderer.


One by one, they all conceded their points. They all had to admit defeat and stand corrected.


Here's my stance, again, for the record: There is no presented argument that was justify the killing of the manager by the man. For whatever reason the company had, they terminated an employee. That's a thing companies do. The man asked for an extra year. An extra YEAR! Not to finish the day. Not to finish the pay period. For an extra YEAR! Name one time ever has a person been fired but was given an extra year to work, just because they asked. I'll wait.


There is no currently presented evidence that the man's life was in immediate danger. He worked there for 30+ years. Surely there would be SOMETHING for the man. A 401k. A pension. Unemployment Benefits. The man could have/should have saved some money. He was 80+ years old. Numbers would assume that he started this job around age 50-ish so it's not like "I might need to save for retirement soon" wasn't on the man's mind when he started there. I know not everyone's lifestyle or living situation allows for comfortable savings, but there was more of an option than killing the manager. And why exactly did he have a gun so readily available at work that day? That gun was awfully convenient. What was going on in that man's day-to-day that he just had the loaded gun on him at work?


I shouldn't have to say this, but murder is wrong. Taking someone's life just because is wrong. We don't have that right. Not legally or morally. Self defense is a different beast and even then, if life can be spared, it should be. I want to defend myself and my family against harm. If I can do that and keep the person alive, that should be the goal. This is not always an option. Sometimes the only way to ensure a threat is gone is to ensure the threat is gone. This is reality. Sad, but reality nonetheless.


This is amazing. In 2021, I have to post a blog stating that commit murder is a bad thing. This is disturbingly incredible. The World is fucked up, I know. It has been, I know. America has being fucking over group of people since always, I know. We are in a wave of change. I want change. You want change. We all think it's time for something to give. But let me make something super clear - We're all here. No one is leaving. WE MUST FIND COMMON GROUND. There is no option B. Black people, White people, Older people, Younger people, Native people, Asian people, Christian people, Queer people, Muslim people, Jewish people, Men, Women, Non-Binary people, Disabled people - American People. We must accept that everyone here is here. We must accept that other people are not going to be just like us. We must accept that Life Matters. If Life Matters, you don't need to put a qualifier before it. Your life. My life. Your best friend's life. My enemy's life. They All Matter (No, I'm not saying "All Lives Matters" - that specific phrase was created as a counter measure against Black Lives Matter. We don't play those games here.)


In closing, Take care of yourselves. Life Decisions aren't always easy, but some of them aren't as hard as we make them out to be. Mental health is important. It doesn't benefit you to have someone there is all the do is hurt you while they're there. It doesn't benefit you to have someone present if they're not a gift, you know? Protect life as all cost. Do right by your fellow human. They struggle, too. I struggle, too.


- Moon (Facebook and Twitter @DLHearnWrites)




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